It seems to me that we are victims of our minds. Our thoughts travel from one direction to the other and decide for us how we will be feeling. I know deep down that we can choose what we think and feel, but when the wheel starts spinning it seems to take on a life of its own.
One thing that confuses me has to do with what makes me feel good. When I'm on top of the world, so many positive thoughts are flowing through my mind and they all feed on eachother and lead to new wonderful thoughts. Although this is great, am I not still a victim of my mind, which just happens to be filled with positive thoughts now? The second a negative one comes in, can it not just begin to grow and suck me in with it? I don't think I am in the present moment if my stream of thought is still dictating how I will feel, without me consciously choosing the thoughts that come to me. The more I learn the more absurd our ways of thinking and perceiving seem but I can't honestly say I have done more than begin to chip away at my ego.
I don't want the bipolar ups and downs that come with relying on my thoughts. I seek the peace that comes from watching each thought rise and fall, observing them but not getting caught up in them. I'm so sick of thinking all the time. I wonder how many of the headaches and stomach aches that I get are from the stress of constantly thinking and analyzing and trying to figure everything out intellectually. It makes me think of those characters in movies who are very intelligent but insane at the same time, and I think that this is really what our mind can do to us. We value high intelligence but I think it often can be used against us to keep us further from the truth.
This moment I choose peace of mind. It is not "I think therefore I am". It is simply "I am".
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14 comments:
Brian, I know what you mean and I think you'll find, if you read your post over again, that you've answered your own question.
The mind is a tricky entity...it has access to infinite perceptions on either the positive or negative spectrum and it uses both sides actively. The positive side of our perception doesn't worry, has no need to think, and is very fond of declarations (I am feeling great! I am REALLY enjoying my day! etc). The negative side uses the habits of the positive side to twist your thoughts every so subtly away from declarations and towards thinking about your declarations.
Just as example from your post.
The thought that you are a "victim of your mind" is a declaration...you are stating this to be true as soon as you said it. Then, of course, you are thinking of the reasons you said it...the feelings that brought you to saying it...and doubts about what you've said contrary to that statement.
Yes...the lines really are this fine. Once you decide that reality (You) exists in the negative...it becomes truth.
The trick is simply stopping. Most of us think we need "reasons" to feel positive or "reasons" to say "I feel great"...this very belief is based on the negative half (remember..the negative likes thinking and reasons). Without having a reason other than your right to say it and make it true...simply state how you feel (not based on what your observing, but on your choice). Don't say "I'm going to feel fine"...say it "I feel fine". Keep saying it. Ignore any thoughts that are contrary (the screaming demons demanding attention)...just choosing to say something this simple is a step toward believing you have the right to say it...this leads you to the belief that your right makes it true...and then "poof" you're out of the hole and back in heaven.
Laugh in the devils face...no matter how good its argument might be, it has no truly good reason for you to be miserable.
A Forgetful God
Everything that goes up must come down. Thoughts are like this, too. Happiness is of course very pleasurable, but it doesn't last. Something always happens to bring us down. Happiness is so addictive, though, that I normally let my self become engulfed in it. I just half to remember that it's not a permanent state of being. The only thing that is is being.
Interesting.... I just reread my comment, and noticed I used the word "half" instead of "have". This was purely subconscious on my part, and I wonder at its reasons.
Emotions will always fluctuate. However you can reach a state of contentedness. I think that is really what you are suggesting you wish to find. If you feel you have been thinking too much you are most definitely right. Listen to what your body and soul are telling you. Take time off from thinking and spend the time doing other things. Life is about balance and it sounds like at the moment you wrote this you felt out of balance. Sometimes you have to force yourself to do whats best for you at that moment.
Brian,
Excellent thoughts. You really have nailed this one. Yes, thinking in the way that you describe is the root cause of all of our angst. To Be, is the ultimate journey.
Forgetful God,
Thank you for the reply. When your thinking is starting to go in a direction that you do not wish to follow, don't you find that sometimes it is hard to believe any positive affirmations that you choose? Sometimes I will have much more faith in what I am telling myself than other times, and feel like a liar when I try to convince myself that everything is okay.
I hope all is well with you.
Sophia,
Yes everything is really impermanent, no matter how much we try to hold on to whatever makes us feel good. At least it works on the flip side too so that when we are feeling down, it will be over eventually.
I always liked the saying "This too shall pass"
Desiree,
It is true when there is balance everything is much more manageable. It would be great to take some time off and head out to a meditation retreat for a bit.
Hmmm now you got me thinking about taking time off to not think...
Mark,
Thank you. Your posts lead me to believe that you are quite able to "be" without always worrying/stressing.
Brian,
Yes, I often have problems convincing myself that things are okay when they don't seem to be. But that is because I'm trying to "convince" myself. The point is not to convince yourself, it's simply to look at what IS okay. Stop putting attention into what is NOT okay. This is where practice comes in...shifting focus from what is "wrong" to what is "fine". Focussing on the things you're grateful for (simple things...the ability to walk, speak, feel, taste, or even something like being able to stub your toe. Existence is worth being grateful for.)
Always return to the simplest focusses. It's the simple things that make life interesting and beautiful...existence is something we take for granted but it is, in reality, a huge gift that we've given ourselves. Think of the human body...look how intricate and complex it is...beautiful invention.
"Practice makes perfect"...when nothing is judged as good or bad it is then "perfect".
An sightful post.Noble thoughts.My good wishes.
Forgetful God,
You are right even the small things are miraculous when we really look at them...
I just look at my cats sometimes I see how happy they seem. One jumps beside the shower every morning to lick the water falling down and get her head wet, and she couldn't want anything more. It doesn't take much for them to be happy and they don't put themselves through the mental torture that we do.
Surjit,
Thank you for your feedback. I wish you well also
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