My whole life I felt that I had to hide who I really was so that I could be accepted. All my beliefs and ideas were shaped by others - as long as they thought I was okay then I was okay. I will still succumb to this now but I am more aware of it and no longer want to be another drone who mindlessly goes through life believing the lies that they are told. I don't see comfort in blending in with the many, I see it now as self-betrayal. I no longer believe that letting others decide who I am will bring happiness. One of the most comforting things I have come to realize is:
Almost everybody is as scared as I am. Some people hide it better than others, but most people have an underlying feeling that "something is wrong" with the reality they experience
I want to grow, to evolve, to become more aware of all the beauty that surrounds me. I want to dive into the mystery that is life, and not tell myself that I have all the answers. I want to become aware of the truth beneath the illusion, and not be fooled by the the world as I see it now. I want to know God, not the man in the sky but the observer within.
Who is going to tell me how I should be? Who is in a position to do that? There are few people I would want to emulate, and the ones I admire have all created their own path. We have no guidebook for life. The rules that society wants us to follow will make us miserable.
We are the only ones who can decide for ourselves, and this is the intention that I set for myself today.
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7 comments:
And now you have chosen.
Keep choosing.
The moment is eternal and the choice is equally so.
Each choice is the same choice as each moment is the same moment.
Bless you,
A Forgetful God
very well put. But it is such an easy trap to fall into..to become a human chameleon...give people what they want. dont' rock the boat. I tell you, I was WAY more popular and had many more 'friends' when I was living a lie, than after I stripped off all that wasn't really truly the essence of Me. But I don't care...knowing what I know now, there is no way I could ever go back into people pleasing mode. I wouldn't even know how, nor would I want to. but sometimes now and again, it does get hard to not let the opinions of others make us feel badly. That is something I am learning to Let Go of...
~meredith
Excellent decision process and an wonderful path you are now on. Enjoy each moment, embrace each step and you will achieve what you desire.
It's been the same way for me. I have to hide who I really am from friends and family because of religion, and they wouldn't be open-minded enough to just accept my beliefs. That's why I thank the shining stars for my blog and everyone elses. The community I feel I belong to is online. I don't have to hide there.
You have opened your heart and your mind to the truth and once one seeks the truth the truth shall burst forward! You may be a bit surprised and shocked when it does but you wont be able to deny it. Keep your heart and soul open Brian for you are about to embark on a fabulous journey!
Brian,
Thank you for the nice comment you left me on Mark's blog.
I've just read through your posts here, and found a lot of truth.
I'm looking forward to coming back to visit again !
Blessings...
Thank you all for the replies. I am glad to have discovered this online community, it's such a great way to find people who you can exchange ideas with.
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