I've been having some inner turmoil recently with regards to my education. It seems as though there are two voices inside of me, each fighting for my full attention. On one side is university. I'm doing my psychology undergrad and have quite a ways to go before I'll be out of school. On the other side is my desire to learn and grow spiritually. It seems like the more I focus on one, the less motivation I have for the other.
During the Fall, when I started my degree, I seemed to have such a drive and enjoyed every second of the experience. But the problem is that my mind starts to think in the rational/logical way that they teach us at school. I begin to lose faith, and get more caught up with issues of the physical world. It's difficult when every single thing you are reading, day after day, is all about the brain and all kinds of research that is going on. I really do find psychology fascinating but I don't think learning about neurons and synapses will be useful for raising my own level of consciousness and helping those around me. My intention is to get my masters or PhD in counseling psychology so that I can help other people, but use a more spiritual/healing approach once I am able to start doing therapy. However, it's necessary to get through all the basics before I can get to that point...
In the past few months I began to get back into my spiritual books and meditate more consistently. Now class seems to be more of a drag, and when I'm studying for exams I look for any reason to distract myself. Maybe it's just because the school year is coming to an end, but sometimes I wish I had no responsibilities and could use all my time just to work on myself. Wishful thinking I guess?
I don't know if I'm complaining or ranting or what. But I do know is that I find it hard to balance these two completely opposing perspectives that happen to be the two biggest parts of my life at the moment.
Still, I can't deny that this whole experience called life feels like a great adventure into the unknown. Might as well have fun with it!
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I've been there, although I didn't start exploring my spirituality until my last semester of college in Fall of 2001. If it was not your spirituality distracting you from your studies, it would be something else! I was always looking for something to take me away from the boring tedious work of studying and doing homework.
People's faith and beliefs are tested everyday, just like the Christians in the face of evolution, but it's what you believe that is important. If you have enough belief in what you believe, you will make it through.
I enjoy reading articles about psychology and the brain, and have been able to pull through when certain articles or research might prove that my spirituality is not real. Always remember that science cannot prove everything! There is some mystery left in the world.
I can absolutely relate to what you're going through...and so can my wife. Both of us were interested in Psychology and both of us ended up having issues with the course as a whole. It's not that the experience isn't interesting, and the theory is definately entertaining...but the very basis of the "Psychology practice" is helping other people pass the buck and avoid taking responsibility for finding their own answers.
I've had teachers say "Well, they come to you because you're an unbiased opinion and knowledgeable"...but how true is that? Getting paid $100-$150 per hour doesn't make me unbiased. More importantly, the memorization of other peoples theories doesn't make me knowledgeable...it makes me completely and utterly unaware of what might be happening in the moment with this "client" (and then all communication is lost because I'm thinking about what to say rather than just saying what my mind knows I should).
Psychology makes the idea of communication with the self and makes it very sterile, clinical, and quite detrimental to the mind. Even the practice of "labelling" psychological "disorders" is nothing more than an effective way to produce even more irresponsibility and justification.
Even from the perspective of someone who hit "depression" at some point I can tell you that it was SO easy to just say "It's not a matter of choice...it's a DISORDER!! and thats why I can't and don't want to deal with it"
I can understand where you are coming from...absolutely. Choices are never easy...but you always have to follow the path YOU feel is right...no matter how much that might disrupt the "status quo". Reality will always provide.
A Forgetful God
puzzled woeman,
You're right, science definitely does not have all the answers! I don't know much about it, but I think quantum physics is disproving some of the basic assumptions of science, so science is disproving itself.
I did read a book by the Dalai Lama where he called for an integration of science and spirituality, and gave examples where Buddhists needed to change theier beliefs because of scientific discoveries. I thought that was pretty cool.
forgetful god
I'm just wondering, did you study psychology in school or did you read it for interest?
I agree with you, I think psychology as a whole needs more warmth if it is going to help people. It's easy to label somebody with a disorder to explain whatever they are experiencing, but how to help them achieve peace and happiness should be the focus. People need to be shown that they are in control, not helpless victims of their mind.
Brian,
I studied Psychology in school (only for 2 years before I had to leave for obvious reasons). My wife was in the course for much longer and was 6 months away from achieving her masters when "realization" struck. Both of us chose that field for the same reason...we wanted to help people find their own inner power and strength. There is a problem with this though and it is very hard to deal with because it requires "self"-sacrifice. Basically, to see the truth of something you must always give up your idea of your self...especially what you WANT that idea to be.
Initially I got into Psychology to help people. But, in the perception of Unity, that makes no sense at all because everyone is ME and therefore the belief that they CAN be helped is also the belief that they NEED help. This belief actually causes reality to create issues for these people just so I can get the self-gratification of being somehow "more understanding" than they are...I'm making more problems than I would be helping (not to mention building dependancy in others). Psychology is a great field of study until you realize that everyone is one mind...after that, everything changes. You can no longer "help" people through directing them, answering their questions, or facing their fears with them...
The realization that everyone has the same "mind" (which is infinite and endless) creates a whole new perspective on the problem. The issue isn't that people "don't know how to face their dilemmas"...the issue is that they ABSOLUTELY KNOW and are not willing to take responsibility. This lack of responsibility is the core of "God avoiding itself"...any type of advice, help, or counselling is just providing one more escape. As a psychologist, I would be providing a justification for avoiding responsibility.
"I don't need to figure this out myself, I have a psychologist...he's knowledgeable, well read, etc"...all of which leads the client to more self-deluded "ideas" of themselves. (remember, these people are not their ideas...they are the thing that CHOOSES those ideas)
I wrote something about all of this a while ago. It's called "Change, Help, and Personal Responsibility". Check it out.
http://forgetfulgod.blogspot.com/
2006/10/change-help-and-personal.html
(the above address is meant to be one line but had to be divided into 2 for the sake of the comment box)
This is one of the biggest lessons I ever had to deal with. For a long time I felt that "saving people" was the right thing to do...I still do, but my methods have changed. I no longer save people...there are no "people", there is only Me.
A Forgetful God
One more article I wrote might provide some explanation of what I mean about "clients" and avoiding responsibility.
How to avoid the Answers...
http://forgetfulgod.blogspot.com/
2006/10/how-to-avoid-answers.html
A Forgetful God
Brian,
I can understand your confusion and feeling of being out of balance. Traditional psychology that you are learning in many ways is at odds with the spiritual path that you are on. I belive that you said it well, when you stated that you need to achieve a balance. The fact is that you need to get through the educational requirements to be able to practice what you desire to do for a living. You have a great opportunity in front of you and therefore should apply yourself to your studies while continuing on your spiritual path.
forgetful god,
Thank you, I read the two posts. I spend some time going through your other posts as well, so far they have all been great. I think I'll have to read them over a couple of times if I am to fully understand, I'm not at the same level as you (well in your words you are me so my sentence would not make sense)
It is nice being able to relate to somebody who was actually in the same program too..
Mark,
Balance seems to make a lot of things much easier. Always being at one extreme or the other is tiring
Happy Saturday evening Brian !
You may want to take a look at a program called the 'University of Santa Monica' in Santa Monica, California...
It is an accredited, spiritually based master's degree program, and PhD, as well if you continue... Held on the weekends...
Thank you loving annie, that school really looks interesting. I think my university is too stuffy and old fashioned to have a program like that.
Hopefully more schools will begin to integrate spirituality into their curriculum..
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