I guess I'm not perfect

I often tell myself that I am not afraid to admit when I make a mistake, but sometimes its just painful bitting your lip and accepting what somebody is telling you instead of responding out of anger and blaming them for a certain situation. I don't like the idea that I am not perfect, that I don't always do what I am supposed to, or that I sometimes do things I'm not supposed to. I prefer to maintain an image of myself is completely flawless, an amazing human being that achieves everything he wants with minimal effort! Unfortunately this is far from the truth, and each time somebody points out a minor flaw, or if I notice one myself, my opinion of myself drops off for awhile until I can readjust my perception.

Why is it so hard to accept imperfections? I think for me it has to do with my way of looking at things as right or wrong. If there is a right and wrong way to be, then of course I will sometimes fail to make the right choice. If instead I see any choice that I make, even if it is considered a "mistake", as an opportunity to learn, then really it isn't a mistake at all. Maybe making this choice in one situation can allow me to learn from it and prevent me from making it in a future situation that would have had far worse consequences.

I like the idea from Conversations With God about each choice we make being to decide who it is we want to be. It is nothing more than that. There is nothing to be judged or condemned. If we don't like the results of our actions, then we know that they do not create a version of ourselves that we like. We can then make another choice the next time. There is no need to be harsh with ourselves.

On a less spiritual level, really sometimes all I want to do when somebody accuses me of anything less than angelic behavior, is to retaliate and put the blame on them somehow. Even if it involves bringing up past events that are not connected, these thoughts flow through my mind. I'm a fairly mellow person so I will rarely explode and actually say these things, but they do flow through my mind so the potential is there. Today this happened over a very minor situation but it still made me feel not so great about myself. My instinct was to justify and rationalize, but I knew I had no argument so I had to humble myself.

I think it just comes down to being able to see ourselves as we really are, without judgment or condemnation. This can allow us to change the aspects we don't like about ourselves instead of denying that they exist. And I know for sure I can come up with a few things that I wouldn't mind changing...