I've kept my guard up as long as I could in my current relationship, and now it's beginning to crumble. I've been scared of experiencing the euphoric love of a new relationship, worried that I might fall into dependence, but I'm getting the feelings again and there's nothing I can do. I guess this is a good thing, right?
I can't judge my feelings as right or wrong, they just are. All I can do is stay grounded and not let myself lose focus on all other aspects of my life. Are these feelings great? They sure are. Will they last for the rest of my life? Not likely. But I might as well enjoy this while recognizing it for what it is.
It's beautiful and scary at the same time. Beautiful because of the comfort of having somebody else to share your experiences with, but scary for the exact same reason. Relationships are a wonderful avenue of growth and learning about who you really are, but sometimes they can be so hard at the same time.
I don't want to be jaded about "love" or whatever feelings come with a relationship. Just because they have not turned out well in the past does not mean that I am doomed to unhealthy relationships for the rest of my life.
I choose to surrender this relationship and experience it with no expectations. I choose to let it grow into whatever it will become.
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Love is merely the utter acceptance of someones right to live as they see fit. Often we cloud that simple meaning with concepts of romance and fairytale "happily ever afters", but it definately does exist.
Will you feel this good forever? If you choose...it is important not to forget that you are choosing to feel this way now and you will continue to have that ability later.
The best thing I can tell you is to stay in the moment...do not give in to that need to "commit" to some point in the future. Promises to be together "forever" are inherently flawed because "forever" is just a moment...more importantly the person you are with is "You", so you have always been with them anyway.
Keep to the moment, choose to feel it however you like...the rest will take care of itself.
Sincerely,
A Forgetful God
What Forgetful God said resonates with me, and I have to agree with him.
On a human level, know that it might be true that the beautiful feelings of a new love may not last, but there are also beautiful feelings that come with loving the same person for a long time.
You sound grounded and reasonable to me, as you do not have any expectations. You are looking at this relationship in a way that is more mature than most people would look at a new relationship.
I wish you both the best.
I think sometimes we need another person to mirror things we are unable to see in ourselves...both positive and negative. so i guess just make sure you aren't wearing dark glasses, or rose colored ones when looking through the looking glass...
just see what really IS.
I wish you very very well, Brian ! May she treat you the way you have always wanted to be treated -- and vice-versa... May it be sweet and strong and long-lasting and good...
Genuinely,
Loving Annnie
forgetful god,
Thank you, I really do think that it is important for two people to fully accept eachother as they are. A relationship is not for changing the other person into what you want them to be. Not that this even works if you try...
And even though there is choice, it often feels like the feelings are in control and we just have to learn how to deal with whichever ones decide to pop up. I guess that can just be an excuse to avoid responsibility for how we feel...
sophia,
I can't help but always agree with forgetful god as well I hope to experience the feelings of a long-term relationship that you speak of.
Thanks for the kind words.
reiki 4 life,
We really do get to learn so much from our partner. All those little things that irritate us or cause conflict are opportunities to focus on the parts of ourselves that require healing.
Loving Annie,
Thank you! I hope you are feeling at peace now and remember that we are all loved even if we're not feeling it at the moment.
Happy Thursday Brian ! How are you doing ? Hope things ae ging good with you and your honey !
Brain, would you be willing to answer the question I left on my blog today ? I have a feeling it will be really helpful to me to get your input... As detailed as you are willing to be ! I like the way your mind works, so...
THANK YOU...
oops, freudian slip or typo ??? brian !
Sounds like you are making some great choices. The key is to stay aware of yourself during this time. Be aware to the point where you do not accept behavior that would normally not, be aware to the point, where is there is a red flag, point it out, don't ignore it.
Enjoy the ride and stay aware of yourself! Be true to you!
Annie,
Thank you! It wasn't the type of question that I expected but I posted what I could come up with :) I hope all is well with you too
Mark,
It really is easy to get caught up in things and ignore what you don't want to see. I find that it is also easy to not accept behaviour that I would otherwise accept, expecting them to be perfect because we are in a relationship. Neither is fair.
Thank you
Good for you Brian! I'm happy for you being able to let it be what it will!
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